22. To the End

Ortlund's chapter begins at the door of the upper room. John 13:1 says that Jesus, "having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end." John could have said many things about Jesus on the night before the cross. He chose to talk about love, and about a love that lasts.

The book sets this beside Romans 5. In Romans, Christ loves sinners and enemies at a distance, before they know him. In John 13, he loves his own, people who have walked with him for three years. You might expect the second kind of love to be easier, since these men are friends. But look at who is at the table. Verse 2 tells us the devil had already put betrayal into Judas's heart. Peter will soon deny him. The rest will scatter. Whatever was admirable in these disciples is about to look pretty thin.

What does Jesus do? Verses 3 to 5 slow down on purpose. He knows the Father has given all things into his hands. He knows he came from God and is going back to God. He is fully aware of his own greatness, and what he does with that knowledge is rise from supper, lay aside his outer garments, tie a towel around his waist, pour water into a basin, and wash feet. Feet were the dirtiest part of a person in a dusty land, and washing them was a servant's job. Greatness here does not look down. It kneels.

The chapter connects this scene to what lies ahead. The cross was the heaviest cost. Isaiah 53:6 says the Lord laid on him the iniquity of us all. In Psalm 22:1, which Jesus echoes from the cross, the sufferer cries that God has forsaken him. Earlier, in John 4:34, Jesus said his food was to do the will of the one who sent him and finish his work. The book asks how a holy Son could endure being made sin for us. The answer in this scene is that his love was not a mood that needed good conditions. It was his character, and it held when the table was full of weak men and the road led to the cross.

The chapter's conclusion is a comfort for tired people: his tender character does not shift, even when nothing admirable is left in us. You may be tempted to believe his gentleness depends on you being at your best. John 13 shows the opposite. He washed the feet of the man about to betray him.

There is also something to receive here. Peter resists the washing, and it is easy to resist too. We would rather serve Jesus than be served by him. Yet the love that reaches to the end asks first to be received. Let him kneel at your dirtiest place.

If you carry memories of someone who hurt you in the name of love, this picture of Jesus may be hard to take in at first. That is worth bringing to a pastor or counselor who can walk through it with you at a pace you can manage.