18. Yearning Bowels

Picture a parent standing at the window long after dark, watching the road. The coat is by the door and the porch light is on. That is closer to Jeremiah 31 than the stern judge many of us imagine.

Ortlund notes that Jeremiah spends many chapters on charges against God's people, and then the tone shifts to promise. In the middle of that promise, God overhears something. "I have heard Ephraim grieving," he says. Ephraim is the name used here for the wandering people, and what God hears is a quiet prayer: "You have disciplined me, and I was disciplined, like an untrained calf; bring me back that I may be restored, for you are the LORD my God." It is not a polished prayer. It is a stubborn animal finally admitting it needs the one who leads it. Then comes the shame: "I struck my thigh; I was ashamed, and I was confounded, because I bore the disgrace of my youth." Striking the thigh was a gesture of grief. This is someone who has turned and cannot believe how far off they got.

Now listen to God's reply, and notice that it is a set of questions. "Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child?" The answer is built into the asking. Then: "For as often as I speak against him, I do remember him still." Ortlund draws out that God's remembering is the opposite of abandoning. When God remembers you, he is not filing away your record. He is holding you in mind the way a parent holds a missing child in mind. Even God's words of correction come from someone who has not let go.

Then the line that gives the chapter its name: "Therefore my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him, declares the LORD." In older English Bibles, the word here was translated with a word for the inward parts, the gut. Ortlund leans on that. This is not a polite sentiment. It is a gut-level ache. God's mercy here is something his insides do.

Then compare directions. Ephraim is the one who flinched and ran. God is the one who moves. We hide, wince, change the subject when he comes to mind. He yearns. If you only ever pictured him as pulling back from you with folded arms, this verse asks you to picture him leaning in.

This is a good day to be honest about small, sneaky thoughts like "he must be tired of me" or "he is putting up with me." Those are shrunken ideas about his heart. If shame or old wounds make this verse feel impossible to believe, talk it over with a pastor, counselor or trusted friend who can walk with you.