Session 18 · 1 John 4:7-12
Love: How to Really Love Other People
Love that starts with God and travels between people
Book reading: Chapter 18
In Chapter 18, Miller says he once believed everything outside the church was dark and unloving. Then he found genuine affection among people outside it, and he compares the church people he knew with the hippies he preferred. He also uses the image of two cymbals struck together to describe loving other people. First John 4 gives us a way to think about love from the Bible's side.
Start with where John says love comes from: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” Love is not first a human achievement. It begins in God. John says it again more plainly: “God is love.” That means love is not an item the church owns. If you meet real kindness and affection in someone who does not share your faith, you can be glad about it instead of threatened by it, because every true love traces back to its Source, whether the person knows it or not.
At the same time, John does not let believers coast. He says, “Anyone who does not love does not know God.” That is a hard sentence. It means the test of whether we know God is not how well we argue or how neatly we behave. It is love. If a person who has never set foot in a church shows more of it than we do, John gives us a reason to look at ourselves, not at them.
Next, look at how John describes God's love. “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” God did not wait for us to be lovable or to love him first. He moved toward us at real cost. That sets the pattern. “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” We love other people because we were loved first, not to earn anything.
Finally, notice how often John puts love between people. “Let us love one another.” “If we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.” John does not picture love as a private feeling. It is something that passes from one person to another, and in that passing, God's love is brought to its goal.
So this session's practice is specific. Love someone outside your usual circle. Pick a coworker, neighbor, or acquaintance you normally pass by, and do one concrete thing for them, with no sales pitch attached. Real love does not need a hidden purpose.
One caution: loving people does not mean staying close to someone who harms you. If a person is unsafe, love can look like distance. Talk with a pastor, counselor, or trusted friend about wise boundaries.
Key idea
First John 4 teaches that love begins in God, is shown at cost in Christ, and is meant to move from person to person, so a loving act toward a stranger is part of knowing God.
Questions to consider
- Miller says he once thought everything outside the church was unloving, then found genuine affection there. Where have you seen real love in a place you did not expect, and how did it change your thinking?
- John says God loved us first, before we did anything. Who in your life is hard to love, and how might remembering that order change how you approach them?
Journal prompt
Write about the last time someone's love for you was costly to them. Then write the name of one person outside your usual circle and one small act of love you could do for them.
Practice
1. Choose one person outside your usual circle by tomorrow morning. 2. Do one concrete act of love that takes at least 15 minutes, such as listening, sharing a meal, or helping with a task. 3. Do it with no agenda and no pitch. 4. That evening, write down what you noticed in them and in yourself.