Session 12 · Ephesians 2:19-22
Church: How I Go Without Getting Angry
A place at the table, or a place in the family?
Book reading: Chapter 12
Paul writes to people who used to be outsiders, and he tells them the situation has changed completely: “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.” A stranger can be invited to dinner. A member of the household lives there. Paul says that is where God has put them.
That difference helps with Chapter 12. Miller draws on early church memories and describes feeling that there was a place at the table but not a place in the family. Plenty of people know that feeling. You can be welcome at a meeting and still feel like a guest. Ephesians 2 says God's intent is something deeper than a seat. It is belonging.
The chapter also tells of Miller starting a small church where attendance stayed near 30. He lists four things he values in his church, and the first is spirituality and prayer. He also describes giving up a bad attitude toward other churches, and he separates critique from criticism. The book is one person's story, so we hold it up against Scripture rather than treating it as a rulebook.
The critique-versus-criticism line is worth testing for yourself. Here is one way to draw it. Critique wants the church to be healthier, and the person offering it is willing to stay and help build. Criticism stands outside and keeps score. Paul's picture of a building fits the first better. Christ is the cornerstone, and the whole structure is “being joined together” and “grows into a holy temple in the Lord.” Notice the verbs. The building is still under construction. If a church is a work in progress, then complaining about unfinished walls misses the point. You are invited to pick up tools.
Paul adds that “in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.” The “you” is plural. God is not building a pile of separate, perfect bricks. He is building one dwelling out of people who are being fitted together, and that fitting takes time and sometimes friction.
Here is one reading of Ephesians 2 to consider. If there is one household and one building, with Christ as its cornerstone, then other churches need not be rivals. They might be more like different rooms in the same house. That is an application of Paul's picture and not something the book says. Paul's immediate subject is Jews and Gentiles joined together, so we are stretching the image a little. Still, it asks a good question of our attitude toward churches different from ours.
Today's practice turns this into something concrete. Name what you hope for, and name what you will give.
Key idea
Ephesians 2 says believers are household members and not guests, and a church still under construction calls for people who build, which gives a way to tell critique from criticism.
Questions to consider
- Miller describes having a place at the table but not in the family. Where have you felt that difference, in a church or elsewhere, and what would belonging have looked like?
- Think of a church or group of Christians you tend to judge. What would change if you pictured them as part of the same house Paul describes in Ephesians 2?
Journal prompt
Describe a time you felt like a guest rather than a member. Then write about a time you were made to feel like family. What made the difference?
Practice
1. Write three things you hope for in a church. 2. Write one thing you will give to a church, and make it specific: a skill, a weekly hour, a meal, a prayer. 3. Circle the item on your list that you could start this week. If church has been a painful place for you, tell a pastor, counselor, or trusted friend what you hope for, and go at a pace that is safe.