Session 13 · 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Romance: Meeting Girls Is Easy
What can a partner give, and what only God can?
Book reading: Chapter 13
Chapter 13 collects Miller's reflections on dating and being single. It includes a friend's remark that there are places in life only God can go. That is one person's experience and opinion, so let's set it beside what Paul writes about marriage and singleness.
Paul starts with a gentle goal: “I want you to be free from anxieties.” Then he compares two situations. The unmarried person is anxious about the things of the Lord, and the married person is anxious about how to please a spouse, so that “his interests are divided.” He finishes by saying he is not trying to “lay any restraint upon you,” but “to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Let's be honest about where Paul lands, because it is easy to soften him. In this chapter he judges that the person who refrains from marriage will do even better than the one who marries (verse 38). He says a widow is happier if she stays as she is (verse 40). He is not neutral. His aim, for every reader, married or not, is undivided devotion to the Lord.
But Paul also says things that keep this from becoming a rule. In verse 7 he says each person has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. In verse 28 he says that marrying is no sin. He does not treat a spouse's care for the other as a failure. He names it as a real and good concern. And he calls his advice a benefit and not a restraint. So Paul praises singleness for a reason, which is the freedom it can give to focus on the Lord, and he does not lower marriage.
Two cautions help here. Singleness is not a guarantee of undivided devotion, since single people can be anxious about plenty of things. And marriage is not a barrier to it. The real question is where your heart is anchored, and relationship status does not settle that.
That is where the friend's remark in Chapter 13 connects. If there are places only God can go, then even the best partner cannot fill every room in you. That is not an insult to a partner. It is a kindness. Expecting another person to be your anchor puts weight on them that they were never built to carry. And being single does not mean you are missing the thing that matters most.
A word of care: for many people, singleness was not chosen, and for others, marriage has been a source of pain. If either of those weighs on you, a pastor, counselor, or trusted friend can walk with you in it.
Today's practice is simple. Spend ten minutes being honest about what you expect from a partner, and what you expect from God.
Key idea
Paul judges that remaining unmarried can serve undivided devotion to the Lord better, while saying each person has their own gift and that marriage is no sin, so no partner, or lack of one, can take God's place.
Questions to consider
- Paul says each person has their own gift from God and also hopes for everyone's undivided devotion to the Lord. What does undivided devotion look like in your current season, whether or not you are in a relationship?
- Which expectations have you placed on a partner, or an imagined partner, that may belong to God alone? What might change if you let God carry them?
Journal prompt
Make two lists: what I hope a partner would give me, and what I hope God will give me. Where do the lists overlap, and what does that overlap tell you?
Practice
1. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write honestly about what you expect from a partner and from God. 2. Underline one expectation that may be too heavy for a human to carry. 3. Pray over that one sentence. If longing or loneliness feels heavy, tell a pastor, counselor, or trusted friend.