Session 6 · Matthew 16:24-26
Redemption: The Sexy Carrots
What you want most may not be what you need
Book reading: Chapter 6
Chapter 6 begins with a letdown many believers know. Miller describes how his romantic feelings about God faded and left him confused. If faith had been running on warm feelings, what was he supposed to do when they went quiet? He uses a children's story about Don Rabbit to make a point: what we want most may not be what we need, and it can even harm us. The remedy he reaches for at that point is self-discipline, and the chapter invites you to test whether that remedy is enough.
Jesus has something to say about wanting. In Matthew 16, Peter has just pulled Jesus aside to argue against the cross. Peter wanted a Messiah without suffering. That want felt loyal and good, but it was not what Peter needed. Then Jesus turns to all his disciples: "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
Look at the three verbs. "Deny himself" does not mean hating yourself. It means no longer letting your wants run the show. "Take up his cross" would have landed hard on first-century listeners, because a cross meant execution. "Follow me" is the part that gets skipped. Jesus does not say "improve yourself." He says to walk behind him.
So is self-discipline wrong? Not at all. Saying no is built into Jesus' call. But notice where the discipline points. A plan to fix yourself keeps you at the center, even when it looks very religious. Jesus aims discipline at a person, not a project.
Then comes the strange math of verse 25: "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Chasing your own life, your comfort, your image, your next craving, is the surest way to shrink it. Verse 26 raises the stakes: "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" The whole world is the biggest carrot there is. Jesus says even that is a bad trade if the cost is you.
This gives you a way to test Miller's chapter. Ask two questions of anything you chase. What do I hope this will give me? And does following Jesus lead toward it or away from it? Sometimes the carrot is a good thing held too tightly. Sometimes it is a thing that is quietly hurting you. If something you chase has a real grip on you, like an addiction, bring a pastor, counselor, or trusted friend into it rather than white-knuckling it alone.
The goal is not to feel guilty about wanting. It is to get honest about what you are really hungry for.
Key idea
Miller shows that wants and feelings can lead you astray. Jesus answers by calling you to follow him, not just to manage yourself harder.
Questions to consider
- Miller says the strong feelings about God faded and left him confused. Have your own feelings about faith risen and fallen? What did you do when they dropped?
- Jesus says to deny yourself and follow him. What is the difference between disciplining yourself to be better and following Jesus? Where do you tend to drift toward the first?
Journal prompt
Write down one thing you have been chasing lately. What do you hope it will give you? Does it actually offer that, or could it be a carrot that leaves you hungrier?
Practice
Name one thing you chase that may not be what you need. 1) Set aside ten minutes today. 2) Write the thing at the top of a page. 3) Write what you hope it will give you. 4) Pray one honest sentence about it, then tell one trusted person what you named.