Romancing Your Wife

Reading assignment: Chapter 12, “Romancing Your Wife.” Deal connects lasting romance with commitment and deliberately making time for one another beyond the early chemistry of a relationship. He gives practical examples such as conversation, affection, dates, time away, speaking well of one’s wife, and everyday service.

Proverbs 5:15-19 uses the picture of water from one’s own well to call a husband to delight in his wife and remain faithful to her. The passage speaks warmly and directly about married desire. Its point is not that a couple must feel romantic every moment. It celebrates faithful intimacy within marriage and warns against scattering desire elsewhere. In a busy blended home, that kind of connection often needs protected time and small choices.

Family life can fill nearly every open space. Children need care, schedules need sorting, and hard conversations may take energy. A couple can begin to feel like co-managers of a household rather than partners. Deal’s focus on small, regular romance offers a practical answer: connection does not have to wait for a perfect weekend or a quiet season. A few minutes of real conversation, a kind greeting, or a short walk together can say, “You still matter to me.”

The passage’s language of delight also invites attentiveness. Ask what helps your spouse feel known and valued now. The answer may change over time. Listen without treating the conversation as another task to finish. A brief affectionate moment can be meaningful when it is welcome; so can taking an ordinary responsibility off your spouse’s plate. Romance is not a reward someone earns by keeping the house running. It is one way spouses choose to care for their marriage.

This takes intention. If time together keeps getting pushed aside, look at the week honestly. Is there a regular window you can protect, even if it is short? Can you make a simple plan for an evening at home, a shared coffee, or a walk? Be realistic about childcare, money, energy, and the season your family is in. The goal is a pattern of attention that fits your actual life, not a standard that makes either spouse feel like a failure.

Speaking well of your spouse matters, too. Proverbs ties delight to a faithful relationship; everyday words can support that faithfulness by showing respect in private and in front of others. If something is bothering you, raise it with care and at a fitting time rather than using public teasing or contempt.

A strong marriage can give a family a steadier place to stand, but it should not be built by neglecting children’s needs. Make room for both: responsible parenting and an intentional bond as a couple. Choose one small act of attention today, and ask God to help you keep choosing your spouse through the ordinary rhythms of the week.

Read Chapter 12, which connects lasting romance with commitment and with making time for each other beyond the first spark. Deal describes practical habits such as conversation, affection, dates, getaways, speaking well of your wife, and serving her in daily life. The point is not one grand gesture. It is a regular choice to care for your marriage.

Proverbs 5 uses the picture of water from one’s own well and urges a husband to rejoice in his wife. In its immediate setting, the chapter warns against sexual unfaithfulness and commends delight in one’s own marriage. This is not a promise that marriage always feels effortless. It is a call to direct desire and attention toward your wife, rather than letting them wander toward what harms your covenant.

Stepfamily life can consume the hours you once shared. Parenting needs, schedules, and tension can leave a couple speaking only about tasks. You may be working hard for your family and still become distant from your wife. Good intentions do not create connection by themselves. You have to make room for it. Start with something modest enough to repeat: ten minutes of conversation after the children settle, a walk together, or a planned date that does not depend on everything else being finished.

Romance is more than sex, and it is never a demand for sex. It includes warmth, attention, thoughtful words, shared laughter, and respect for your wife’s wishes. Ask what helps her feel cared for in this season. Listen without turning her answer into a scorecard. If fatigue or conflict has made closeness difficult, take the pressure off and begin with kindness and honest conversation. A marriage grows through mutual care, not through one person insisting the other perform.

Deal’s examples include speaking well of your wife and serving her in ordinary tasks. Those choices shape the climate of your home. Your children notice whether you treat their mother with honor. They also notice whether you can disagree without contempt. Your leadership is not proven by controlling the family schedule; it shows in the way you keep promises and give attention to the people you love.

Make one small connection a real appointment. Protect it from routine distractions when you can, and adapt when life interrupts. If a plan falls through, choose another time instead of letting the week disappear. The goal is a pattern of faithful attention. Your wife is your partner, not only the co-manager of a blended household. Keep turning toward her, one ordinary day at a time.