12. Having a Mary Heart

You've reached the last session, so let's end where Weaver ends: with the long process that grows a Mary heart. If you hoped for a quick fix, Paul has some gentle news. Even he said, "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own."

Look at the order. Christ has already made Paul his own. The pressing on comes second, as a response, not as a way to earn anything. That matters for anyone who has felt worn out by trying to become a better Mary. You aren't chasing God's approval. You're leaning toward the One who has already taken hold of you.

Weaver names three habits we fall into when life gets hard. Some of us bargain with God and offer good behavior in exchange for relief. Some protest, as Job did, and pour out complaints and questions. Some run, as Jonah did, to get away from what God is asking. The Bible doesn't hide any of these stories. Job's protest was heard, and Jonah's flight didn't end God's mercy. But the book asks where hard seasons usually send you, and whether you can bring that reaction to God instead of away from him.

Scripture gives a bigger picture of why hard seasons come. In Deuteronomy 8:2, Moses tells Israel that God led them through the wilderness to humble them and show what was in their hearts. Romans 8:28-29 says God works for the good of those who love him, and that the good includes becoming more like his Son. Second Corinthians 4:17 calls present troubles light and brief compared to the glory they are preparing. Even Martha's story shows this. In John 12:1-3 she is serving at a dinner again, Lazarus is at the table, and Mary is anointing Jesus. Everyone has their place, and no complaint is recorded.

There's also a partnership. Philippians 2:12-13 tells believers to work out their salvation because God is the one at work in them. You don't carry it alone, and you aren't passive either. Philippians 1:6 promises that the God who began the good work will finish it, and Hebrews 10:35-36 urges us not to throw away our confidence but to keep enduring.

Then comes Paul's "one thing," which echoes the one thing Jesus said was needed in Martha's kitchen: "forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Forgetting doesn't mean pretending. It means not living in old failures or old victories. If your past includes deep grief, depression, or harm, a pastor or counselor can help you walk through it rather than just push past it.

You won't finish this book as a finished Mary. You can finish it with a direction.

You made it to the last session. That deserves a pause, and maybe a cup of something warm. In this closing chapter, Weaver argues that a Mary heart is not something you pull off by trying harder. It grows over time through a process God uses. Philippians 3 is a good place to see that.

Paul says, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” Look at the order. Christ made him his own first. Paul presses on, but he is chasing from a place of already being held. A woman who believes she must earn her place at Jesus' feet will run herself ragged. A woman who knows she is already his can run with joy.

Then comes the famous line: “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul has his own “one thing,” and it echoes the one thing Jesus told Martha about. Forgetting what lies behind does not mean pretending. It means you stop letting old failures and old labels set the direction of your life.

Weaver also names three common ways we respond when hard seasons stretch us. Some of us bargain: “God, if you fix this, I'll do better.” Some protest, the way Job poured out his complaints. Some run, the way Jonah headed the opposite direction. Most of us have done at least one. Scripture does not scold you for having feelings, since Job was heard rather than dismissed. But none of these three gets you where Paul is going.

What does? Weaver points to God's process and purpose. Deuteronomy 8:2 says God led Israel through the wilderness to humble them and show what was in their hearts. Romans 8:28-29 says God works all things for good, and that good includes being shaped into the likeness of his Son. In 2 Corinthians 4:17, Paul calls present troubles light and momentary compared to the glory they are preparing. That is not a shrug at your pain. It is a promise that your pain is not wasted.

It is also a partnership. Philippians 2:12-13 tells you to work out your salvation because God is the one working in you. You do your part, and he does the deeper part. And Philippians 1:6 promises that the one who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. Hebrews 10:35-36 adds that you need endurance to receive what is promised.

Weaver revisits John 12:1-3 here, the dinner where Martha serves and Mary pours out perfume. Both sisters are in the same room. Martha is still serving, but John records no complaint. Change did not erase who she was. It redirected her.

If your hard season involves grief, depression, or trauma, you don't have to press on alone. Please bring a pastor, counselor, or trusted friend alongside you.