Submission

Start with Chapter 8. In Foster's framing, submission is tied to being released from always needing your own way, and to honoring others. He also sets clear limits: submission is not meant to become destructive, and denying yourself is not the same as hating yourself. (This guide draws on Foster's separately attributed essay on submission as a companion to the chapter.)

That framing matters, because this is one of the most misused topics in Christian life. So let's be careful and let Philippians 2:3-8 set the terms.

Paul opens with what to avoid: selfish ambition and empty conceit. Then he says to consider others as more significant than yourself and to look out for their interests, not just your own. The word 'consider' is a thinking word. It's about how you size people up. Submission starts as a change in how you see, not first as a change in what you do.

Then Paul points to Jesus. He was in the form of God, but did not treat equality with God as something to hold onto for his own advantage. The Greek word there pictures something grabbed and clutched. Jesus had every right to be in control. He chose to pour himself out and take the form of a servant, all the way to death on a cross.

Look at the shape of this. Jesus' submission was free. It was chosen out of security, not forced out of fear. He knew who he was, which is why he could stoop. That's the difference between submission and being a doormat. A person who can't say no isn't submitting; they're stuck. Jesus also withdrew from people who wanted to harm him before his hour had come, so humility did not mean offering himself to every kind of mistreatment.

This helps with this companion's question. Where can you release control without giving up dignity, safety, or healthy boundaries? Think small first. Letting someone else pick the restaurant. Not needing the last word in a disagreement. Handing over a task without hovering. Listening to a correction without building a defense. These are places where your need to win is louder than the actual stakes.

And a clear warning: nothing here asks you to accept abuse, coercion, or a controlling person's demands. If someone is hurting you, the loving and godly response involves safety, boundaries, and getting help from trusted people or professionals. Philippians 2 describes a free choice to serve, not an obligation to be harmed.

So ask yourself where you cling hardest to your own way. Often it's not the big things. It's the small preferences that feel like they protect who we are. What if you were secure enough to let one go?